There have been a number of articles in the paper maligning English teachers. While I'm becoming more immune to it, it's been prolific this week. As much as I'd like to let it roll off me, it bothers me. Just for once, I'd like to see media story about English teachers that makes me smile rather than grind my teeth. "You don't like it, don't read it.", I hear you say. I wish I could but I've never believed that ignorance is bliss and I'm wondering why I'm considering staying in a country where foreigners are seen as a necessary evil rather than a valuable resource.
But what's really upset me is this: an 11 year old student of a friend committed suicide by jumping from the 13th floor of his apartment building. Eleven years old.
I feel terrible for Kerry and his co-workers, who I don't even know. Kerry's Facebook post is below and his heartache for the boy, his family, his co-workers is palpable. No one should have to deal with the death of a child, whether it be your own child or someone else's. But to know that the child ended his own life makes the situation so much more distressing.
I teach 11 year olds and it seems incongruous to think about them in relation to suicide. On the whole, my 4th graders are a pretty happy bunch but you never know what's going on on the inside. The idea of any one of them feeling so disconsolate that they commit or even consider suicide really bothers me. I've got a girl in grade 6 who worries me. She painfully shy, has no friends and has a general air of despondency. It's taken me 9 months just to to get a smile out of her and I can't help but wonder if she thinks about suicide.
I had 2 friends commit suicide shortly after high school and, while I'm not unsympathetic to the turmoil one must be feeling in order to get to a point where suicide is a viable option, I prefer to save my sympathies for their family and friends. I think it's a selfish choice and I'm still angry at Geoff and Steven. I'll never forget visiting Geoff's family 3 years after his suicide and seeing his father's anguish and bewilderment. But Geoff and Steven were adults and they alone are responsible for their decisions. This boy was 11 years old and 11 year olds can't possibly be aware of the consequences of such a monumental decision as suicide.
What could be so bad that an 11 year old thinks the only option is suicide? In this case, he was caught stealing and his teacher called his parents. The fact that this child felt that suicide was a better alternative than facing his parents and sucking up his punishment has me asking all sorts of questions. Do Korean kids believe their parents' love is conditional on them being a dutiful son/daughter? Are Korean parents so wanting in the emotional department that they're telling their kids (directly or indirectly) that, unless they're perfect, they're worthless? Where's the mental health care, counselling or support for people who are considering suicide or dealing with the suicide of a loved one? Does Korea, as a whole, care at all for the emotional and mental well-being of its citizens or does it think that their Han blood and kimchi make them immune mental illness?
In this specific case, will the school support the teacher in question or will he be vilified for simply telling the parents that their child was caught stealing? Will there be any support for this boy's schoolmates? Memorial service, a moment of silence? Will the school even acknowledge what's happened? I can't see it happening.
And I'm asking myself if I want to continue living in a country that seems to show so little regard for human life or the human psyche?
Reflections on a 4th Grade SuicideI guess it’s appropriate that there is a dreary rain falling as I stagger home from a feeble attempt to drown the sorrow of my saddest day in Korea. The usual neon and gaudiness of Ilsan Beach are shrouded in a gray fog that exactly mirrors my mood.
What began as a typical day of six classes with the sweetest Korean children in the world, has morphed into a tragic day for a child, his parents, his teachers, his classmates, and ultimately for Korea.
A cute little eleven year old boy, who, just today, rubbed the hair on my arm and said, “Kerry, teacher, “soft!” is now dead. What makes a fourth grade boy leap to his death from his 13th floor apartment window?
The first thing I heard about Choi Hyo Won’s death was from my Korean co-teacher, Kim Min Jo. She is the strongest, most confident, professional teacher I have encountered in Korea and when she came trembling into our room and said, “There is a problem” I knew instantly that there was. She said one of her boyfriend’s students had been caught stealing money for the second time, and, for the second time, her boyfriend, Jeong Chang Su, had called the boy’s parents to let them know what had happened. Before the boy’s parents returned home from work, Hyo Won had jumped from their 13th floor window, apparently choosing death over facing his parents for his second offense of stealing.
Min Jo, whose English is usually impeccable, said, “He might be died.” She was on the verge of tears, which, for Min Jo, is unheard of. Her words were punctuated with sobs that caused her delicate shoulders to rise and fall with every phrase.
There was an emergency meeting of all teachers (except the native English teacher) and when Min Jo returned she said that Hyo Won had died. The tears streamed down her face and the sobbing was the saddest expression of emotion I have seen from a Korean since I arrived. She cried for the child, she cried for her boyfriend, Chang Su, and she cried for every teacher in our school, when she said, “He died.” I tried to hide my tears as I put my hand on her shoulder and said, “I’m so sorry.” I felt so utterly inadequate and foolish that I could think of nothing more comforting to say.
Min Jo was sad for the child and afraid for Chang Su. She said the parents would probably sue him for “huge money” and that he might lose his job as a teacher. They have only been dating for a couple of months, but I’m sure marriage is in their future and I could see she was crying not only at the death of a child, but at the potential death of her dream to marry Chang Su.
Chang Su is a 32 year old teacher who is easily the most handsome, the funniest, the kindest and the most considerate teacher at our school. He is a gentle giant who is almost as tall as I am. I always tell him that I am going to be his agent and take him to America and make him the first Korean male super model in the US. He has the darkest skin of any teacher at our school and Min Jo has the lightest and I always tell them that their babies will be a perfect hue.
Chang Su was at the hospital when Hyo Won died, but he immediately had to return to school to type up a report about what he had said and done and then was required by the police to return to the hospital and stay until midnight. While he was typing his report, I went to his room and did the only thing I could think of to let him know I cared about him. I squeezed his shoulder without saying a word, and he said, “thank you.”
Despite my lack of Korean and his limited English, I hope he knew I loved him and cared for him. I went back to my desk and cried for Hyo Won, for his parents, for Chang Su, for Min Jo, and for Korea.
0 comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.